Just Being Brothers

RIGHT and WRONG -Part 2 The Inherent or Learned Values That Shape Us

November 14, 2023 Mike & Steve
Just Being Brothers
RIGHT and WRONG -Part 2 The Inherent or Learned Values That Shape Us
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Are morals ingrained or learned? What is Right and wrong? It's the burning question at the center of our lively discussion in this podcast episode. Your hosts, Big Brother Mike and Little Brother Steve, break down this intriguing debate, investigating how our interactions, experiences, and maybe even our genes form our moral compass.
Steve presents 21 morals and values necessary for a positive life.


Speaker 1:

All right, we are back One more time.

Speaker 2:

Hey, one more time. What is this?

Speaker 1:

This is Just being Brothers.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and who are you? I'm Little Brothers D and I'm Big Brother Mike, and we are back and this is really part two. Okay, as we had before Part two of More of some values, more of some values.

Speaker 1:

Steve, you said you had a lot of values.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's why we had to go to part two, because you had a list about this.

Speaker 1:

Go ahead 21 more values. All people should learn 21?

Speaker 2:

We're not going to do all 21, are we?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're going to do all 21. We're going to do all 21.

Speaker 2:

All right, okay, we'll see. That was just me waking up. I was sleeping before you got stuck. I haven't even did one of these before I was asleep.

Speaker 1:

All right, now go ahead, go ahead, go ahead and in between, I'm going to read a couple things here, like are moral values learned or innate? Whoa, okay, no, most people believe that they are something that we are learned. All right, this means that they are not something they are born with.

Speaker 2:

We acquire them through our experiences and interactions with others.

Speaker 1:

From childhood, we learn to share and how to be truthful and how to care for others. But other people believe that they are innate, which means that they are passed down through genes. You know, what somebody else did is now embedded in our genes and we do the same thing.

Speaker 2:

I kind of agree with that. I used to not, but I do. That's why you can see a family of good people and everybody's a good person, a family of thuggers and amoral people, and almost everybody in that family is the same way, starting as little kids.

Speaker 1:

The whole family's a-hole, even little kids, even little kids.

Speaker 2:

And I don't know if that's DNA or you just get that from the household you live in, okay, and then there may be one person in that family who's not that way and that person has been literally ridiculed.

Speaker 1:

Determined by our genes and biology.

Speaker 2:

I think it's a possibility. I think we're all born knowing right from wrong.

Speaker 1:

So that means if there's a killer in your house, somebody else is going to be a killer If they didn't learn from that that person going to jail. They shouldn't do that, they're going to be a killer as well.

Speaker 2:

I can't say that everybody, but I do know that when folks know I was a TV producer, we did a special, a new special. Three generations in prison at the same time Grandfather, father, son Somebody's learning something that they don't need to learn. How do you get that? How do you get that?

Speaker 1:

You learn that.

Speaker 2:

You and our brothers. We're not exactly the same. We have another brother totally different, but morally we're all the same.

Speaker 1:

All right, so here we go. We're all the same. Comment when you want to Go ahead. That's a list. But, get in there. Hopefully we won't tangle up too much time on it. Anyone, are you ready? Number one, please. And honesty it means being truthful and fair in all your feelings with other people. Honesty also means being willing to admit when you made a mistake.

Speaker 2:

Hard for some people, honesty Hard for some people. That's a good one, okay.

Speaker 1:

Number two. Respect means treating other people with courtesy and consideration. It also includes respect and property. They're privacy and views and their beliefs. That's a good one, but I think some people think that they don't have to respect people based on socioeconomic status.

Speaker 2:

I'm superior to you, I have more money than you. I'm more educated than you. Thus, what you say, I may feel free to dismiss because of who I think I am.

Speaker 1:

Society has told me I am, but I agree with that Respect and what is respect All right. And number three, responsibility. All right, being responsible means being reliable, okay and accountable for your actions and taking responsibility for your mistakes.

Speaker 2:

Once again, I think that's learned. Some people make mistakes, and they're not the only one up to them. They talk to you. Here's how you get out of this Correct. Here's how you work your way around that Number four caring.

Speaker 1:

Caring means showing kindness and concern for others. It also includes helpful to consider it when you care about someone. You want what is best for them.

Speaker 2:

And you know I just thought of two.

Speaker 2:

You know I'm always on the online looking at YouTube videos and they had these videos of people confronting people and I'm regretting it and they showed this one video of a guy was bothering this guy. A guy kept walking away from him and leaving me alone. He turned around and fired on the guy running down out. I stepped over him and kept on going. In another situation, this guy was harassing this Asian man and he kept running. The young Asian man had to jack him and soon as he went down, the young man grabbed him by his hand and started rubbing, trying to bring him back to consciousness. That's caring First. I care about myself. You're not going to put your hands on me, Okay?

Speaker 2:

Once I see you no longer a threat. I care about you and I thought of the two. I thought once again it's values. Somebody's like hey, man, you're not gonna do that.

Speaker 1:

Hey, leave his butt sitting right there on the way you knocked him out. Other guys don't leave a guy laying there on the sidewalk man, even though he just accosted you, it's over.

Speaker 2:

Show some caring. So yeah, I think caring is very much. I think caring what he did he showed about why some people go to church, some people don't go to church and some people said I show my love of God he's still my spirituality by doing kind works.

Speaker 1:

Number five, cooperation. He's working together to achieve a common goal. Okay, I like that You're trying to be willing to compromise and putting aside your own needs to help others.

Speaker 2:

Hard to do for some people. Very difficult Some people who used to be me, me, me, me, me and always in charge, never taking orders, never taking direction. And I think some people are born naturally that way. They just have a tough time following orders.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't know. I think that's a learned thing Really. Yeah, because I know my kids.

Speaker 2:

they always did what I asked them to do and I don't think, and I think as, growing up, we always did what our parents asked us to do. Does that mean that the reason they did it or? That way is because of my mother and father and their parents before them?

Speaker 1:

Or is that because what we instilled in them?

Speaker 2:

I think it's because what we instilled in them. I think it's what we instilled in them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because if we don't instill that into them, they're gonna be buck wild.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, people sometimes forget that babies are the same as little puppies. Okay, a little bear cub, little tiger cub, they're gonna totally wild. We begin to civilize them with morals and values. And this is what you do, what you don't do, everything from don't put your elbows on the table.

Speaker 1:

Okay, start, you're wearing a hat in the house, wearing a hat inside exactly Number six. Fairness Means treating people equally and justly.

Speaker 2:

And that is such a subjective thing.

Speaker 1:

That means yeah, it includes being impartial and not showing favoritism. When you are fair, you give everyone a chance to succeed.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I think people look for fairness. I think they define it differently. If I'm a big guy and you're a little guy, a little, and we're playing basketball I saw this a lot with Shaq Poor Shaq would be getting fouled, elbowed and they're not calling it because a guy that's five, that's like six feet, is finding a guy that's seven feet. The rules says this is what the rule says yeah, but it's Shaq. He's big, they're doing hack or Shaq on him. Shaq didn't think it was unfair, but he really, by the rules, was unfair Morally. Does it change society now?

Speaker 1:

Seven courage, ooh, is the ability to do something even though you are afraid that's a moral or a value. Wow.

Speaker 2:

Or an ethic. I'm afraid, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

Speaker 1:

Brave does not mean that you're fearless it means that you can face fears and do what is right even when you are afraid.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, otherwise it wouldn't be courage. So I guess I don't know what you would call that.

Speaker 1:

So an example of courage would be bravery If you saw someone being bullied and you stepped in and stopped it, even though you're afraid of the bully it would also include being the first person to stand up and speak out against injustice, even when everyone else is afraid, okay.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I get that and we see that sadly around the world when we see small countries like Ukraine standing up to big countries, okay, and doing it effectively. So, yeah, okay, courage, yep, go ahead.

Speaker 1:

Loyalty involves showing constant and unwavering support for something or someone.

Speaker 2:

Now, this is of morals or values.

Speaker 1:

These are 21 morals that everyone should have Loyalty yeah, and I went to get an Aigre.

Speaker 2:

It comes with caveats and nuance, though. I'm not gonna be loyal if you're gonna go and hurt somebody.

Speaker 1:

So when you're loyal to someone, you stick to them, even when times are tough. As though you take marriage vows of prejudice and loyalty that's made to you, you start to stand by them in sickness and in health.

Speaker 2:

Right, but not in skull-duggery, not in bad things. No yeah, I'm your boy. Until you decide you're gonna go and steal something. I'm your boy, I'm loyalty. You're gonna go and hurt somebody else.

Speaker 1:

So, like you know, like you cheer for your favorite football team. Even though they're one and seven, you're still out there standing in the goal you're on the school team.

Speaker 2:

You're playing the basketball team.

Speaker 1:

You're being loyalty. That's loyal Larry Number nine.

Speaker 2:

You got 12 to go. After this, go ahead.

Speaker 1:

Self-control Ooh, the ability to control your emotions, impulses, includes being able to resist temptation and making reasonable choices.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one, Definitely definitely, definitely, are your moral devils. Yeah, I hear people sometimes saying they're more isn't about.

Speaker 1:

However, I can't help it.

Speaker 2:

This is just the way I am. This is how I was born, this way. No, you was no thank you, as if you can't control your impulses.

Speaker 1:

Because that's how you thank.

Speaker 2:

I can't help it when I get mad, I just cuss. That's that. Those things are manageable. Yeah, those things are men. All right, good work ethic.

Speaker 1:

Oh, the work ethic is the willingness to work hard and do your best, and includes being punctual, responsible and reliable, and that's definitely, I think you need that as one of your values and that gets.

Speaker 2:

That gets taught. Yeah, that gets taught and I can tell about. You know, growing up military, we were always punctual. Yeah, and if there's there's five of us and we're different and we see the world differently, but there's certain things on our moral compass that are the same and I can't think of any of us that are late, chronically late, all the time. I'm always a half hour. You're always on time and some of my what was that? Punctuality.

Speaker 1:

Responsible, absolutely reliable absolutely.

Speaker 2:

You know. We don't have that family where you owe me a hundred dollars, Even though I'm your hundred double for five years, and I ain't speaking. We don't have all that, somebody bars money. If we were involved from each other, that often right, because we're responsible when you do, boom here your money back. Thank you, go ahead, nice, nice, that was a good number 11 perseverance.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the ability to keep going even when things are tough. It includes it includes being persistent, never giving up. When you persevere, you don't let obstacles get in your way.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's definitely learned. But a lot of, I think, depending on who raises you and I know this sounds sexist, but I think we have weak men many times because moms raised them and, and sometimes moms, their first thing they're gonna do is love and Somebody who may disagree with this, but I think, but that's okay, baby, you know they didn't. You know how. You know, I'll go up to the school and talk to the teacher for you as opposed.

Speaker 2:

I like no man get the assignment done. I'll give you gotta be up to one o'clock in the morning. Get the freaking assignment done, period. That's you know which. Ever way you were raised, the way you're gonna be Okay and I get the assignment for us. Better get that assignment done.

Speaker 2:

I'll give you up to 12 o'clock and it better be correct. You get up in the morning and do it over that morning before you went to school. Mom and dad would check it so that we learn. We learn that you got to be responsible, but I think there's some people who learn that there's an excuse for everything.

Speaker 1:

There is excuse for everything to do is find like a nose on the face everybody.

Speaker 2:

I got an excuse integrity.

Speaker 1:

Number 12 you want the right thing when nobody's looking being the right thing when no one is watching. Honestly, that was strong.

Speaker 2:

That's. That's sitting at the red light two o'clock in the morning in small town USA. No one's coming. For three days you sit there, oh, even in the daytime there's no one coming.

Speaker 1:

That's fear, that's fear. You know there's no one.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you know, there's no one.

Speaker 1:

Why aren't you going there? Because the light is real, because you're afraid you go get your car towed. My the cow pasture cuz you in the wrong city. Okay, let's say it's a major.

Speaker 2:

It's a record city, okay, and there's no Get away with this. Ain't nobody around but go ahead, ease on audience of this traffic. It may be some fear in there, but it's a fear of getting your car to, the fear of breaking your moral code.

Speaker 1:

So we're gonna come back to it.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

It's a gamble, it's a risk, and you're gonna, and we all gamble, we all take what am I gambling with?

Speaker 2:

getting a ticket or breaking my own car? And then go to see go into the next one 13 humility.

Speaker 1:

Being humble will let you achieve greatness. Includes being modest and not thinking you are better than others. When you are humble, you accept both praise and criticism.

Speaker 2:

Some people are great at it and some people are not, and I and I and I go to somebody like Barack Obama, I think, who was great at it, I think some athletes that you see who win awards, or great at it, okay, people who want a bunch of things, and it go like hey you the best quarterback ever to play. Well, you know I have to appreciate that, but I had some great guys catching the ball for me.

Speaker 1:

You know, when I was coaching, I always, always told my kids that when somebody comes to them and ask them about something. They have to be humble and they didn't know what that was at first, and I had to give an example.

Speaker 1:

So one of the examples I gave them was you know well you got. You're as good as you are because your teammates, they wrestle you every day and they put you, they challenge you. You run hard, you, they run fast and you they make you run fat. It's all because of them. That puts you where you are, and they learned that that was a learning thing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you know, because absolutely yeah absolutely Don't take.

Speaker 1:

You can't take all you can, you know. You know coach, coach, this, coach that my teammates it's not I did this, not I did that, or you know, it was always players, teammates, coaches stay humbled, you know even in flattery, and people have said this, believe it or not, to me, especially when I was younger. We have very new nights.

Speaker 2:

Okay, man, you're well-so-and-so man you this and I always go right here. I had two good parents. I had two good parents. You know those things. You say Thank you and hopefully I am a nice person. Okay, I'm a halfway attractive person, but all those come I didn't make myself. I remember my son. I'm gonna move on. What's that? My son? My son now in the mirror. He's about 15 or 16 in the mirror the bathroom. He's posing, he's flexing and everything.

Speaker 1:

I'm like man, what are?

Speaker 2:

you doing, man, I'm getting to be a really good looking guy Dad, ha ha, ha, ha ha, woo that borderline. Which was true, and I said yeah but guess what? Bro, you don't have a darn thing to do with any of that. Your mom and I should be in here to be reflexive. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha. You didn't have a damn thing to do with it. Okay, be humble, dude, be humble. You want to brag about something? You want to go get those grades? Okay, go ahead. Next one man.

Speaker 1:

Compassion what number is that? Fourteen Uh-huh Is the ability to care for others and feel empathy for their situation.

Speaker 2:

It includes being kind and understanding when you're compassionate.

Speaker 1:

You want to help others who are suffering.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, unless, I would say that's true, but there's some people that are suffering because of their parts are tough ones. I see somebody who's in a bad situation, Steve, because they did it.

Speaker 1:

They did it to themselves.

Speaker 2:

I think my compassion wanes a little bit. Okay, I'm not talking about somebody who got a bad break, somebody who all of a sudden, they live in nice and got a nice place oh, my landlord sold the building, so my sold house that I'm in and so now I have to get out. I'm compassionate for that person. My landlord doesn't like the way I keep the place and my landlord doesn't like being three months behind in rent, so now I get out. I got to get out. My compassion is not as much because you put yourself in that jam. Right, the rents do every month. You know it's not a surprise you put yourself in that jam. It depends on what's going on and how compassionate I might be.

Speaker 1:

Number 15, forgiveness. The ability to let go of anger and resentment. Now this includes being able to forgive yourself and others. When you forgive and you do not hold grudges Forgiveness.

Speaker 2:

Forgiveness. Okay, I agree, I think that there's something there. Yeah, yeah, I'm doing the same thing. Shake it our head, I guess, and that whole thing forgive and not, for I guess there are some things of which I probably I can't think of anything that's happened to me yet. Thank you, I've been alive a long time, but I'm sure there's something that happened to people just can't forgive. We just saw it not, so I'm thinking.

Speaker 1:

so I'm thinking forgiveness or just letting it go.

Speaker 2:

Is that the same thing? Yeah, yeah, just letting it go is a passive way of forgiving, walking up to somebody and saying I forgive you, man, it's all Because I can.

Speaker 1:

That's it. I can let it go but that doesn't mean next time I see you, I'm gonna be the same way I'm not gonna you still Right, I'm still a little upset with you.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

So I haven't forgiven you yet, but I'll let it go this time. Forgiveness means when I see you next time I can never happen.

Speaker 2:

Or is that forgetting? No, no.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna remember whatever when I see you, because we got into it or whatever it is that you're saying.

Speaker 2:

Yeah and let forgiving is maybe a little bit more immediate and boom it's done. Letting it go may take a little time.

Speaker 1:

Well, I don't know how immediate forgiveness is, because I think this is what made me say this. I see some episodes on TV where a guy killed somebody's daughter and 16 years later he is getting out and now he's friends, as a matter of fact this guy killed this woman's son and now they're best friends. So much best friends that they moved next door and a guy got married and they were at their wedding we know and they gave gifts and they played with their kids, but 32 years early when he was 16 and her son was 17,.

Speaker 1:

he killed him when he robbed him and then at 16, later, these 37, 38, 39, you forgive him and you're best friends.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna just open say out here I don't know that I could ever reach that level of forgiveness. Exactly Okay, you hit my car, wrecked my car, come to my house and make a mess in my house, break something and whatever Okay, but taking away something like my child, I don't know if I could ever reach that level. I'm not. God didn't make me that big and that Magnus appeared, maybe. Yeah, me neither, me, neither 15?

Speaker 1:

So I'm gonna skip around here because my computer's like just jumping or something.

Speaker 2:

Gratitude here we came back, Gratitude Okay.

Speaker 1:

When you are grateful, you realize that everything is a blessing or a learning moment. Now, one day, I'm gonna tell us a little story. I'm trying not to get too winded, all right.

Speaker 1:

I haven't posted on some of my social media pages. So this woman is standing on the beach, she's holding her brand new three month old baby girl and she's a nice sunny day and out of nowhere a tidal wave comes, washes his to shore, throws up in the air, throws the baby up in the air and the baby gets washed out 50 feet out into the ocean. And out of nowhere, the stork comes down, picks up the baby, brings the baby back and lays it at the baby's feet.

Speaker 2:

At the mother's feet. At the mother's feet A stork A stork.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this is a fable type thing, but it's got a meaning.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's a fable okay.

Speaker 1:

And as the stork flies away, she looks up at the stork and she says she had a hat. I've heard a similar story so this is the great, the gratitude thing. You know you, when you are grateful, you realize that everything is a blessing or it's turning a moment. Was that that's good? One would ask it. Yeah, you're ungrateful.

Speaker 2:

You're in gratitude yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So she's ungrateful absolutely, absolutely that's.

Speaker 2:

That's ungrateful.

Speaker 1:

I, and I don't like somebody who's ungrateful.

Speaker 2:

I have a friend who seems to be able to just go to the coast, you know, just check out money like an ATM. She never wins, never loses yeah okay and so and so she gave. She wanted to like $4,100. She gave it to somebody and they she had four people for three of them she gave $100 a piece. They were all thank you for other person who got their hundred dollars. They were like this all you wait you right, right, right, right.

Speaker 2:

You want to go thousand, you want to go down, you know this all you know, you think, I think you do a little, you can't do a little, and she's, and she said no, in my girlfriend did. Girlfriend said okay, took it right out of hands and thank you. Other people going oh, thank you so much we really, because we lost money right this all you got.

Speaker 2:

I mean, yeah, that's that, that's somebody that's being just not not grateful right right right for it all. So hey, we haven't had fun, problems he man, what's going on?

Speaker 1:

just pick on my for a minute. We can switch back, cuz I don't think.

Speaker 2:

I really don't think I need. I just want you to hear him. Oh, just listen to him we got it for him so number 17 yeah, these are hollow, these 17 is cleanliness.

Speaker 1:

You take them off. Yeah, yeah, okay, cleanliness. Oh yeah, cleanliness next to godliness have you ever heard expressing cleanliness is next to godless? You get it. I have her on the head. There's a lot of truth to that statement. When you are clean, my brother, he shows that you have self respect and you respect others. That also shows that you have a healthy person who ignores care of disease. Keeping your environment clean is also important. A clean house or office of signing to care for yourself and others that are ready to welcome you.

Speaker 2:

You know there are some people who have a lot of positive characteristics, intelligence, etc. But they don't get it somehow.

Speaker 1:

They don't get the clean yeah, by the way, listening to just being brothers, little busty big brother Mike we're talking about morals and values and we're down to number 17 of a list of 21 of a list of 21. I'm sure you have some more than values that you talk about and how your family operates with those. These are just some that we came across. Number 18 are you ready, ready, patience. When you can wait calmly and not get angry, you are much more likely to have a good outcome.

Speaker 2:

It always includes you better control your emotions and not fight off the handle at the first sign of anger or confrontation emotional control and that and that starts really early and I know and I, steve, I know your career you've taught young people who sometimes don't have emotional control and some of that, I think maybe, is an eight from birth. I think some of it because people have been allowed to get away with not controlling their emotions because they're young and they're just a baby. Are you just a baby four years old? No, you're not a little baby. Maybe handle that. And now you're in the real world. You've never been taught how to do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that's very important up on the world, yeah, we say, yes, boil. Yeah, we know there's different kinds of spoil, but yeah, that kind of whether worlds to be involved around me, yeah, it always has me, me, me, me, me, me, and, and your parents is it? Your parents put you where everything's important. You know, so-and-so is late. I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, you're not late, everybody else just early. No, no, you're late. Dude, you're late. You don't get a pass on that. Go ahead and go ahead. Hit 18, 19 20.

Speaker 1:

When you kindness, when you are kind, you show, you show concern for others and act in a way that pleases or benefits them good enough, we can go right. Yeah, helpful caring and gentle politeness is another thing.

Speaker 2:

That, but that was jumped into us. You know you're never too old to say please and thank you, right, never he's going to the next one all right, please go on to the next one.

Speaker 1:

My computer here is like just you know, I think it's a studio man. It makes it slow we're having tough.

Speaker 2:

We're having tough time in the studio. We have one more show to do to it faithfulness, faithfulness.

Speaker 1:

Now, I just having to know if you're faithful right. Good things. Can happen for you because you're full of faith, right.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's faithfulness and loyalty. The same thing.

Speaker 1:

It's faithfulness and loyalty.

Speaker 2:

The same thing, no.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to bog down in that, but I don't think it is Because, see, I'm using faith as a church related way, and belief yeah, loyalty Okay, and I agree with you.

Speaker 2:

I just picked, I just nitpicked that, because I'm sure people use those two things interchangeably and they're not the same thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're down to the last one and I cannot get this thing to get to so we got 20 done. We got 20. Well, I think that I mean we got a pretty good show out of that Find a number 21 be great.

Speaker 2:

If not, we're gonna go ahead and say goodbye.

Speaker 1:

Let me see if it's gonna pop up here and close to it.

Speaker 2:

There's so close things like freezing technically difficult is today folks, so sorry.

Speaker 1:

Come on, come on, it's a little brother, steve, trying to figure out how to get 21 up here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we had 21, we just did 20. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we'll just go with this 20, 21 about that. We sign off the air, but I'm worried about these are 21.

Speaker 2:

What against the?

Speaker 1:

These are what we just talked about 21 morals that everyone should learn and use and I think I Agree it, probably about 18.

Speaker 2:

Okay, the rest of them, I don't know. Hey, I think it's time for us to go ahead and get out of here and Sorry, we had these technical difficulty Usually come here every, every couple of months with people coming in rearrange things. These technical people get on my nerves. Big brother Mike saying goodbye Steve hope you enjoyed listening. We're gonna fix it. We'll see you next time, all right?

Exploring Moral Values and Innate Behavior
Values and Morals
Gratitude, Cleanliness, Patience, Kindness, Faithfulness
Concerns and Goodbyes on Moral Values